2. Emotional Awareness
One of the indirect results of coaching is the emotional self-awareness and it is activated by the coach through questions focusing on feelings, affects, etc. But this is not only a result from coaching for the client, but also an ability the coach needs.
For the client it means to be aware of one’s feelings and attitude it is the knowledge or perception of the self. Knowing about your current emotional state and what influences it, is the first step to changing this state.
If you want to bring your client or peer into a positive state you can invite the client or peer to think of a moment of pure happiness or a former success or of a hot chocolate with marshmellows (iy you know the client or peer likes that).
Just say: “Can you imagine a moment where you were really happy? How did it feel? What did you think” Or you can do thatmore future-oriented by asking “Imagine your problem is solved. What is there then? How does it feel? What do you think then?
Give it a try now!
Exercise I (*Obligatory)
Think of a current challenge you have and try show it by your mimic, your gesture and your posture and remain there for a few seconds (yes, right in front of your computer :-)). Afterwards please think of a very happy event in your life and show it likewise. Reflect on how it feels and what you think by taking in the different states!
- What was different?
- Was is useful to you?
- What did you feel?
Put a pencil between your teeth without letting your lips touch the pencil. Stay like this for two minutes.
- How do you feel now?
Background: The way you moved your muscles around your mouth now is the same way the musles are moved when you are smiling. There are some studies that proof that, if you you force yourself to smile, you feel better in some time. Of course, that does not change the situation you are in, but it gives you a change to break free from intellectual barrieres and gives you the opportunity to find useful solutions.
Try a powerful posture!
When you are challenged with a difficult meeting or client and you feel uncomfortable about it try to take in a powerful posture for 2 minutes before the meeting and try to keep of with a upright posture.
A powerful posture is like superheros are standing with upright back, chin up, hands on your hips, feet solid on the ground.
To avoid embarrassing situations, better do the powerful question somewhere you are not disturbed by anyone. In case you are distrubed, just explain this great technique.
Try to focus on:
- How do you feel before taking in the powerful posture?
- How do you feel while taking in the powerful posture?
- How do you feel after taking in the powerfuk posture in the meeting?
- Is there a difference to other meetings without this technique?